On My Own
by ChibiChibi
Summary: It's my first attempt to write a songfic. I used the song On My Own of the musical Les Miserables. Pan reflects on her friendship with Trunks, when he is going to marry Marron. I think it's a bit sad, but please read and review, okay? Thank you guys!


On My Own 

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**Disclaimer:**     I don't own Dragonball Z/GT or the song "On My Own" from the musical "Les Miserables".

**A/N: **               I know, I know… I should probably first finish "The Lost Warrior – The Next Generation" before starting another fic, but I just had to write this one. It's my first attempt to write a song-fic, but I hope you'll like it, even though it is a bit sad, I think.

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It was again one of these parties at Capsule Corporation. Pan hated those, because her parents always wanted her to dress up. But the reason why she hated this party even more was the fact that it wasn't just any party. It was an engagement party to be precise. Her family and friends celebrated the engagement of two of her best friends. Of Marron and … Trunks. 

_On my own pretending he's beside me,   
All alone I walk with him till morning.   
Without him I feel his arms around me,   
And when I lose my way   
I close my eyes and he has found me._

She watched as everyone congratulated the couple to their decision. They all wished them to be happy. Especially Bulma was excited. Her little boy would finally marry. And she would finally become a grandmother.

Pan had always hoped that she would be the one at Marron's place. But she somehow knew that it would never work out between her and Trunks. He always saw her as a sister, not more. She was his friend, his sparring partner. They loved to hang out with each other, but never in a romantic way. 

And then there was still the age difference. She was eighteen, Trunks thirty-two. She was still going to High School and Trunks was the President of the world's largest company. It was time for him to start a family. With her it would take much longer. She still had to go to college and how old would he be, when she was ready to settle down? Forty? 

But it still hurt seeing him with someone else than her.

Pan needed a break from this whole thing and decided to take a small walk. It had rained before and now it was just drizzling a bit.

_In the rain the pavement shines like silver,   
All the lights are misty in the river,   
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight...   
And all I see is him and me forever and forever._

Pan didn't know how long she had been walking. She had reached a small park with a bench at a river. She looked down at it and saw a small engraving there. 'Trunks and Pan. Friends Forever.' She smiled lightly at the memory of this special day. It had been her sixth birthday. Trunks had taken her out. They were at the movies, then eating ice cream and then they took a walk in even this small park at even this river and took a break on this bench. She had asked him, if he would always be there for her. And Trunks said yes. He had told her that they would always be friends and he even engraved that in this bench with a small ki-blast.

How often did she sit on this bench and dreamed how life could be with him at her side. 

_And I know it's only in my mind,   
That I'm talking to myself and not to him.   
And although I know that he is blind,   
Still I say, there's a way for us._

She had a crush on him since she could remember. He was always the one who was there to protect her from any harm. He was her hero. But as she got older, her childhood crush grew into something bigger. She began to see more in him than just a friend. He was always there for her, especially in the time after her grandfather disappeared. He always listened to her problems and understood her, when no one else did. They needed no words to understand each other. When they were hanging out with each other, whole afternoons could pass without one of them saying a word. Just the two of them sitting next to each other in a comfortable silence.

But he somehow never saw her true feelings for him.

_I love him!   
But when the night is over,   
He is gone, the river's just a river.   
Without him the world around me changes,   
The trees are bare and   
Everywhere the streets are full of strangers._

Tears threatened to fall as she remembered the day he told her about his feelings for Marron. 

She had seen his eyes lighten up at the mention of her name. Something she never saw before, when he was talking about one of his girlfriends. At that moment, she realized that he was truly in love with her and that nothing could change that. For the rest of their conversation, she was unusually silent and Trunks asked her, worried as he was, if something was wrong. She just shook her head and forced a smile, trying to hold back the tears that were forcing their way into her eyes. She told him that she was okay and just a bit tired and that she rather would go home. He understood, even though he hadn't understood a thing of what was going on in her and let her go. As soon as she was home, she allowed the tears to run free. 

_I love him!   
But every day I'm learning,   
All my life I've only been pretending.   
Without me his world would go on turning,   
A world that's full of happiness that I have never known._

And then the announcement of their engagement came. At that day, Pan lost all of her hope to be with Trunks. And as she saw the looks Trunks and Marron gave each other, she understood that they were made for each other. That they would be happy. And it hurt her more than anything else in the world.

Tears began to run down her cheeks as she remembered that day. Everyone was so happy. Bulma immediately organized this party. As it was her turn to congratulate them, she just forced a smile and hugged both of them, but didn't say a word. She knew it was selfish, but she couldn't wish them the best at that moment.

"Pan? Panny?" she suddenly heard a voice calling out for her. She quickly wiped her tears away and turned around, just to see Trunks running towards her. "Here you are… What are you doing here?" he asked her worried.

"Trunks?" she asked confused. "I could ask you the same question. Why aren't you at your party?"

"Well, I was worried about you… You left so sudden and I wanted to make sure that you are okay. Are you okay?" He looked at her and saw her red and puffy eyes. "You've cried. Why?"

Pan shrugged. "I had just a lot of things on my mind. Mostly memories."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No…" Pan said. "I think I have to deal with them on my own."

Trunks sighed and pulled her into a warm embrace. "Okay, just remember that I will always be there for you. No matter what happens, I will always be your friend."

"I know…" she said with a light smile. He would always be her friend and she had to accept that it would never be more than that. She knew that he would be happy with Marron. And as long as he was happy, she would also be happy for him. The love he felt her was nothing compared to the love he felt for Marron. He would always love her as a friend and he would always be there for her. He had promised this to her as she was a small child and she knew that he always kept his promises. 

She was satisfied with that, but there would always be a special part in her heart for him.

_I love him…   
I love him…  
I love him…  
But only on my own._

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_So, what do you think? Do you like it?_

_Please tell me and review! I need reviews like I need food to survive!_ J

_Eternally yours_

_ChibiChibi_

PS: For all the "The Lost Warrior – The Next Generation" readers: The Epilogue is in work and I don't think that it will take that long anymore for me to post it!


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